i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize