bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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