Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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