Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize