Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
he was CRYING into my vagina
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina just recognized that song.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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