i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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