Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize