Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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