I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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