I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I see more hoeing in ur future
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