I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize