Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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