She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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