Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
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