he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize