she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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