If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
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So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
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Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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