I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
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