Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize