Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
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We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
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I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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