You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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