well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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