I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
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If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
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You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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