I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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