i jhust puked up my retainher.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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