apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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