so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
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I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
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You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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