Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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