I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize