Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize