Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
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