if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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