What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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