The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I puked a lego.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize