Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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