My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
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He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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