If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i already hear my dad disowning me
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Randomize