Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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