it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize