how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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