I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize