I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they made helmets for livers.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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