Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize