im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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