Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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