She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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