PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
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BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
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Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize