if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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