none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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