i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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